When a relationship ends and two people own property together, deciding what happens next can quickly become one of the most contentious issues to resolve. For unmarried couples, the legal framework that governs these disputes is the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 — commonly known as TOLATA.

Many people assume that a TOLATA dispute automatically means going to court. In reality, mediation is often a far better first step — and in many cases, it can resolve the dispute entirely without the need for legal proceedings.

Why TOLATA Disputes Are So Difficult

Property disputes between co-owners are rarely just about money. They are often tangled up with grief, betrayal, and deeply held feelings about home and security. When children are involved, the stakes feel even higher.

Add to that the complexity of establishing who owns what share of a property — particularly where contributions were informal or undocumented — and it is easy to see why these disputes can escalate quickly.

Going to court under TOLATA is an option, but it comes with significant drawbacks:

• Cost — legal fees for contested TOLATA proceedings can easily reach £10,000–£30,000 or more per party
• Time — cases can take a year or longer to reach a final hearing
• Uncertainty — a judge will make the decision, not you
• Conflict — adversarial proceedings tend to harden positions and damage any remaining goodwill

For families with children, a prolonged and bitter legal dispute can have a lasting impact on co-parenting relationships and on the children themselves.

What Mediation Offers Instead

Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process in which a trained, impartial mediator helps both parties have structured, productive conversations about the issues they need to resolve.

In the context of a TOLATA dispute, mediation can help you and your co-owner discuss and agree on:

• Whether to sell the property — and if so, on what timeline and through which estate agent
• A buyout — whether one person can and wants to buy the other out, and at what price
• How the proceeds should be divided — taking into account contributions to the deposit, mortgage payments, and any improvements made
• Interim arrangements — who lives in the property while matters are being resolved, and on what terms
• Costs and liabilities — how ongoing mortgage payments, bills, and maintenance costs are shared in the meantime

Crucially, mediation gives you and the other person control over the outcome. Rather than leaving the decision to a judge who does not know your circumstances, you reach an agreement together — one that you are both more likely to stick to.

Does Mediation Work for Property Disputes?

Yes — property and financial disputes are well suited to mediation. In fact, many family mediators, including myself, are trained specifically to help with financial matters as well as arrangements for children.

Mediation works best when both parties are willing to engage in good faith and when there is at least some possibility of reaching a compromise. It does not require you to agree on everything before you start — that is what the mediation process is for.

It is worth noting that mediation is not a substitute for legal advice. I always encourage clients to take independent legal advice alongside the mediation process, so that any agreement you reach is fully informed. A solicitor can also help you formalise any agreement reached in mediation into a legally binding document.

What About the MIAM?

Before starting mediation — and before making a court application under TOLATA — you are generally required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). This is a short, individual meeting with a mediator to explore whether mediation is suitable for your situation.

The MIAM is not a commitment to mediate. It is simply an opportunity to find out more about the process and whether it might work for you. If mediation is not appropriate — for example, where there are safety concerns — the mediator will confirm this and you can proceed to court if necessary.

The cost of a MIAM at Families First Mediation is £150 per person including VAT.

The Government Mediation Voucher Scheme

If your dispute involves arrangements for children as well as property, you may be eligible for the Government Mediation Voucher Scheme, which provides up to £500 towards the cost of mediation. Families First Mediation is an approved provider of this scheme.

The voucher applies to joint mediation sessions, which are priced at £225 plus VAT per person for a 90-minute session. A £500 voucher fully funds one joint session for both parties, making mediation a genuinely accessible option even when finances are tight.

A Practical Example

Consider a couple who bought a house together five years ago. One partner contributed a larger deposit; the other has been paying a greater share of the mortgage. They have now separated and cannot agree on whether to sell or whether one should buy the other out — or, if they do sell, how the proceeds should be split.

In court, this dispute could take 12–18 months to resolve and cost both parties tens of thousands of pounds in legal fees. In mediation, the same issues can often be worked through in two or three sessions over a matter of weeks — at a fraction of the cost, and with an outcome that both parties have shaped themselves.

Taking the First Step

If you are facing a property dispute with a co-owner — whether an ex-partner, a family member, or anyone else — I would encourage you to consider mediation before committing to court proceedings.

The first step is a free initial consultation, where we can talk through your situation and I can explain how mediation might help. There is no obligation, and it costs nothing to find out more.

You can get in touch by phone on 07917 321230 or by using the contact form on this website. I cover Southend-on-Sea and the wider Essex area, and I offer both in-person and online sessions.