Mediation can take place in person, virtually (zoom) or shuttle mediation. Shuttle mediation means you are not in the same space as the person you are mediating with and I go back and forth sharing information.
Children
Once the mediation begins, every session usually involves both of you. Mediation sessions are designed to explore your family’s needs and options, focusing on the interests of the children. The way in which the sessions are organised will vary a little, depending not only on whether the mediation is limited to children issue and/or includes financial issues, but also on the level of conflict and emotion involved.
If the mediation is successful and, by working together, you manage to identify a solution that may work for both of you, I will prepare a Summary of Proposals or Parenting Plan, explaining what the two of you want to happen next. Neither the Summary of Proposals nor the Parenting Plan is a legally binding document, but each should explain in some detail what arrangements you both think could be made, and why. This document can then be taken to your respective solicitors, who will give legal advice as to whether the proposals are likely to be seen as fair and reasonable by the courts, and, if appropriate, draw up a legally binding agreement for you to sign.
Of course not everyone is able to reach an agreement on every issue, and some couples do not ask the mediators to draw up a Summary of Proposals, even if they have worked out some new arrangements together during the mediation. Either of you may decide to withdraw from the mediation at any time, as can the family mediators. Those who do not reach a final agreement often leave mediation commenting that the process has been useful in clarifying, or even better in reducing, the issues in dispute.
Finances
A mediation concerning financial issues has the same three stages, with an additional stage in which the mediators help you to provide each other with all the financial information that is needed, including your income and expenditure, any property you own, your savings, investments and pensions, and any loans or debts. If either of you fails to provide all the relevant information, any agreement you eventually reach is unlikely to be binding, so it is very important that you are open and honest at this stage. The mediators will record all the information provided in a special document, usually called the ‘Open Statement of Financial Information’; this is an ‘open’ document, which may be used outside the mediation, including by the courts. This is usually a more cost-effective way of providing, or, to use a legal term, ‘disclosing’ financial information than using solicitors to gather and record the information, but if the information is very complex, or you want someone to do a very rigorous check on the information, you may choose to ask your solicitors to prepare this information, and then use mediation for the actual negotiations.
Once the financial information is available, the mediators will move on to the second stage, during which they will help you to identify a range of possible solutions, and then help you to evaluate the practical implications of each. This is likely to take more than one mediation session. Solicitors are not normally involved in the mediation itself, but it is a good idea to review the position with them if you have any concerns at any stage.
A negotiated settlement about what should happen in relation to the children does not necessarily have to involve lawyers or the courts, but we always recommend that a settlement concerning financial issues is reviewed separately by your lawyers, and recorded in a legally binding agreement.
The government offer £500 towards mediation
*subject to eligibility